by Beth Levine | Dec 2, 2014 | public speaking, quote
The thing about transparency is that it shows. Period. When you’re open and direct, it shows; when you’re obtuse or avoidant, it also shows.
The bottom line with transparency is this: If something is true and real and you’re thinking it, feeling it, or wanting it, then communicate it. When a batter squares to bunt, people know what’s coming. You might as well be the leader or speaker who also lets people know what’s coming. Be straight up with information as well as with your feelings and reactions.
[Excerpted from Jock Talk: 5 Communication Principles for Leaders as Exemplified by Legends of the Sports World, http://amzn.to/1vkcxjz]
by Beth Levine | Nov 18, 2014 | preparing for a presentation, public speaking
When you get up to talk or take the microphone at an event, it is not, and should not, be all about you—not if you want to be effective, impressive, and memorable, that is. There is an unwritten, unspoken contract with your audience that you, the speaker, will entertain, enlighten, or energize them. Personal stories need to support a point. The time you take needs to be used to deliver something of value. An audience waits for something new, useful, beneficial, or fun. Audiences like to be acknowledged somehow. In order to deliver on any or all of this, you must prepare your remarks with your audience’s experience in mind. That is the essence of being audience-centric.
Audiences all have biases, self-interests, and expectations. They have a very basic “what’s in it for me?” thread running through their subconscious. They want something in exchange for their time and attention. As if that weren’t enough, they also don’t want to work hard. Unless you guide them and tell them where you’re taking them, they won’t make the connections and get there on their own. To make matters slightly more challenging, competition for people’s attention is tougher, and their devices—cell phones, laptops, tablets—are ubiquitous (although the presence of devices can also be a good thing, as increasingly people use them to take notes).
Finally, an audience sizes you up immediately and, within seconds, decides if you are worth their attention and engagement. There are studies showing that this happens in the first eight seconds. Think about that: In the first eight seconds, people decide whether to listen to you or not. This certainly puts some weight on how you open your talk.
All of this adds up to a tall order. It demands that you, the speaker, think about your audience more than just superficially. Your topic and your time allotment may be fixed, but your audience is a variable, and that should guide you in preparing what you deliver and how. The experience you give them will stay with them longer than any words or data you share.
by Beth Levine | Nov 4, 2014 | public speaking
Consider the word “present.” In communications coaching, I typically use it as a verb, but if you look at it as a noun, it’s present, as in gift. Think about audience-centricity as a gift to your audiences. As with birthday or holiday gifts, people love something they can use, enjoy, or learn from. You should plan to give a present every time you present! If you want to be that speaker who is memorable, then be extremely selective and targeted. Take a few extra minutes and identify a big idea, a “so what,” or a key takeaway for your audience, and then prioritize exactly what and how you’re going to present. Be audience-centric and don’t just present (v), deliver a present (n).
by Beth Levine | Oct 15, 2014 | smartmouth talks!
When it’s your turn to approach the front of the room to speak or present, what are you telling yourself? What are you imagining you look like? Do you have an old tape or some old film footage from junior high playing in your head?
You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?
It’s the tape that plays a decades-old old recording about how awkward you are or how tongue-tied you get in front of a group or how everyone will look at you like you don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe it’s the film footage that showcases your frizzy hair or big glasses, or that plays re-runs of the time you bumbled your way through your oral report because it was the one and only time you really didn’t prepare … yet you got called on.
Yep, we all have old tapes that play in our heads.
Let’s flash forward, though. Where are you now? You’re in a different spot, aren’t you? You look good, you feel good, you’re experiencing some measure of success, and the people around you think you’re perfectly confident in front of a group – in fact, other people think you have it all sewn up.
But you still find yourself unable to breathe as you approach the front of the room and dreading – or at least resisting – any version of public speaking. Am I right?
Public speaking – whether a formal speech or presentation or just leading a meeting – often brings out unexpected levels of anxiety in otherwise bright, accomplished, articulate people. I have discovered in my practice as a communications coach that more often than not, it’s because of old tape recordings and film footage; people who had bad self-images or experiences in their formative years carry those forward into their professional lives … and into their presentations.
You don’t need to do that, and so let’s take a look at how you can record new sounds and images over the old tape so that your confidence is coming from inside of you and oozing out. Let’s look at your body and your mind:
Your Body. Amy Cuddy’s TEDTalk “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are” has had over 4 million views in two years and, most recently, a feature spread in The New York Times Sunday Styles section [link]. Amy is a social psychologist and an associate professor at Harvard who shares her research about how “power posing – standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident – can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on our chances for success.” She advises getting big in stance and posture in several different ways – often with arms and legs wide and body, upright and tall.
I have tried Amy’s power posing suggestions, and I love them! If you haven’t seen it yet, I encourage you to watch her TEDTalk [link], it’s inspiring and empowering. And then try out a few poses and see what happens when you make yourself and your stature bigger. (Hint: Wonder Woman lives on … in you!)
Your Mind. If your body language sends a message to your brain, then let’s finish the conversation – the internal conversation, that is. That’s where I want to focus: what you say to yourself, what your “self-talk” sounds like.
Self-talk. Think about the various ways you employ self-talk and the various words and phrases you use. Yes, you talk to yourself in your head.
For example: I knock over my coffee mug and now my pile of bills that I sat down to pay are stained with a lovely sepia tone. As I mop it up with a paper towel, I say, “Arrggh, Beth, what is wrong with you? Expletive, expletive.”
Or this example: I am on the phone with a potential client, and in my answer to his question about executive communications coaching, I find myself exuberantly explaining the full range of my services. I hang up the phone and say to myself, “Beth, you really go overboard sometimes, get a grip on yourself. Of all people, you should know better, ugh!”
Or worse yet (and this is a true story from 10 years ago): It’s moments before a large presentation in front of a new client and I say to myself, “Beth, of all the hare-brained ideas you’ve ever had, this one takes the cake! Why on earth would anyone pay to hear what you have to say?”
Big red flags. Bad self-talk. Surely I – and you – can do better. We can be more aware of how we talk to ourselves, change the tape, and develop the words and the ways to be encouraging, positive, or even playful instead.
When you’re approaching the front of the room, I want you to say some version of “Go git ‘em!” to yourself. It might be, “This will be a win, I know it!” or “I am as prepared as I need to be, and I am the best person to do this presentation!” or “I am here to engage, it’s time for me to be present with the audience!”
A new era, a new day, and a new tape playing in your head. Tell your mind what you want, and I bet you’ll start to manifest your success at the front of the room.
Since we started in junior high, let me give you some homework: Beginning right now, jot down everything you “say” to yourself along with the time of day for each one. Keep track for 24 hours, and then look at the list, the frequency and the types of “comments.” If there are any particular patterns, take note. Then, looking at the list, ask yourself, “What if I had said something positive to myself instead? What would that have been, what could it have been?” Write down the alternatives and hold onto them.
You’re already on your way to a more positive dialogue with yourself!
by Beth Levine | Sep 30, 2014 | Just Mouthing Off, quote
“Dignified comportment” – classy, respectful, present, unflappable.
In the months leading up to Derek Jeter‘s much-anticipated retirement on Sunday, nearly all media coverage has mentioned, if not focused on, Jeter’s clean record of behavior. He’s never made trouble, nor has he ever made any outrageous or controversial comments. In 20 years. In New York.
In The New York Times Sports Sunday this past weekend, Dan Barry and Ken Schwencke wrote a piece entitled “With His Words and Deeds, Jeter Never Entered Foul Territory.” In it, they wrote, “Jeter’s ability to maintain a posture of sustained inscrutability – or, if you must, dignified comportment – has extended especially to the spoken word.”
“In a major league career that dates to the Clinton administration’s first term … inquiring reporters have gathered around Jeter in the clubhouse thousands of times. He has maintained eye contact, answered nearly every question posed to him – and said nothing. This is not a complaint, but rather an expression of awe; of admiration, even.”
Even – or especially – in difficult times, when you might be facing criticism or uncomfortable questioning or dealing with bad news, think of Jeter’s example. Dignified comportment. Turns out, it’s career-defining.
