Other People’s Words

shutterstock_202056505How good are you at delivering the party line?
 
Most organizations create the party line in the form of talking points. Talking points might be about the organization generally or about a specific piece of news. They typically are handed down from the top for “messengers” to deliver. These messengers, whether they are managers communicating to an internal audience or spokespeople facing an external audience, are expected to deliver the party line. It’s an age-old practice – but with varying results.
 
The intention behind talking points is solid, which is to help an organization present a unified front, deliver a consistent message, and be sure that everyone is singing from the same song book, so to speak. However, talking points are more often than not other people’s words. And other people’s words can be problematic – hence, the varying results.
 
The problem with other people’s words is that it’s just not realistic to expect people to deliver them the way they were written. Some real-life challenges with talking points are as follows (see if any of these sound familiar!):

  • They are often long, wordy documents – even when they’re broken up into bullet points or paragraphs – that are written more for a reader to read than for a speaker to speak. This makes them difficult for people to digest and actually use.
  • Most spokespeople aren’t sure what they’re supposed to do with talking points – memorize or paraphrase? And there’s typically no guidance provided.
  • Pre-scripted talking points often feel stilted or inauthentic to the person who is supposed to deliver them. They are other people’s words, and so the messengers read them and think, “but this doesn’t sound like me, I would never say this.
  • In the end, a lot of people who are supposed to be messengers or spokespeople simply avoid and then ignore talking points – which, of course, defeats the original purpose of trying to get everyone on the same page.

So, what can be done to help protect and promote the party line?
 
Well, if you’re responsible for creating and distributing talking points, here are some tips:

  • Give guidance to your troops, let them know how closely to the script they need to stay and what they can and cannot paraphrase.
  • Give them permission to use their own words – with the caveat that, if there are some critical words or phrases within the talking points, those are “must-air” words.
  • Be realistic and keep the talking points document as brief and succinct as possible.

If you have to deliver talking points, here are some tips for you:

  • Go through the document a few times and then put it away and practice making as many of the points as you can. Test yourself to see how well you at least covered the spirit of the talking points, if not the words.
  • Highlight the words and phrases that mean the most to you and that you do not want to leave out, and then rehearse yourself through a version that hits on those.
  • Ask, if it hasn’t been granted already, for permission to paraphrase, making the case that you will do a better – more authentic and credible – job of delivering the party line if you can hit the points you’re most passionate about in a way that works for you.

A little effort – and a little give – from both sides will be worth it, good luck!

What Do You Do When the Audience is Glaring at You?

CrowdAnd are they really glaring or are they just staring?

We’ve all had the experience: You’re at the front of the room or at the podium talking and you look out at your audience – you actually look at them, you don’t just throw a token glance – and you instantly regret it, it bursts your bubble. The body language and faces are not what you were hoping they would be. There are no warm, welcoming smiles, nor are there any affirming nods of approval.
 
Ugh! Does that mean you’re tanking? Not connecting or getting through to your audience? Should you keep going with your presentation or is it time to switch gears? You can’t run out of the room, or fall through a hole in the floor, you have to make the best of it. But how?
 
Stay calm. Keep things in perspective. And, if you feel like it’s more than a few faces – and that they’re really not happy – then open up a dialogue (e.g. Q&A) and find out if you’re right or not.
 
Audience reactions come in all forms, shapes and sizes. We hope for the best-case scenario – to look out at the audience and see excited, expectant and engaged faces. But we don’t always get that. Very often, we get stone faces or we get that guy in the front row who looks angry, that woman in the middle row on the end who looks like she’s falling asleep, or the other woman in the back looking at her phone.
 
Whatever you see, don’t panic and don’t judge yourself – or them – too harshly. Keep things in perspective. Especially when the audience is full of strangers, bear in mind that you have no context for interpreting their facial expressions or behaviors. It’s important to remember that one man’s scowl is another man’s look of concentration. And that some people remember and retain better with their eyes closed. And that other people take notes on their phones or other devices.
 
They are distracting as all get-out, but one or two dissatisfied-looking people in an audience do not make for a failed presentation. There are always a few people in a group who don’t like something, are not quite as enthusiastic or just had the wrong expectation, no question. But there are others who just look unhappy or disinterested. Keep going, keep up your energy level and try to engage audience members as much as possible.
 
If, however, you are so distracted by the faces that you are beginning to believe that you are, in fact, tanking, then switch gears and open up your presentation for some discussion and dialogue. Ask your audience for their impressions, thoughts, and questions up to that point. That way, you’ll know for sure whether they’re satisfied or not, and engaged with you or not.
 
The moral of the story is that you shouldn’t let the demeanor and appearance of the crowd, especially one person in the front row, affect your performance. It’s sometimes hard to tell an angry glare from a focused stare.
Let Us Calm Your Nerves

Let Us Calm Your Nerves

Some Comforting Facts About Public Speaking

shutterstock_244913731Do you want learn how to overcome public speaking anxiety? Do you feel like your body is fighting against you every time you get behind the podium? Does it seem like the audience can see how nervous you are?
 
Well you aren’t alone! Three out of four people suffer from speech anxiety. It is the most prevalent and commonly shared phobia.
 
In fact, Jerry Seinfeld once joked that most people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death. He said, “This means if you have to go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than delivering the eulogy.”
 
There’s even a term for fear of public speaking; it’s glossophobia. Literally translated from Greek, it means fear of the tongue.  Clearly, stage fright has been around forever. I get asked about nervousness all the time. It’s real, most people experience it, and I take it seriously.
 
But I’m also a pragmatist about it. I feel like I’ve heard it all—nerves that cause shaking, forgetfulness, dry mouth, speed-talking, sweating, you name it. But I’ve never seen anyone 
die like they think they’re going to. And I’ve rarely, if ever, seen an audience that noticed the speaker was nervous. You, as the speaker, are obviously fully in tune with your anxiety, but the audience isn’t looking for it.
 
In fact, I’ve held mock presentation sessions for groups and had people sit down after it was their turn speaking and say, “Oh my gosh, I couldn’t breathe up there” … yet no one else in the group noticed. This is what you need to know: Audiences expect you to be just fine, and so that’s what they see—a speaker or presenter who is just fine.
 
They actually expect you to succeed! They’re unlikely to notice the shaking or other physical manifestations of nerves, and they have no way of knowing that you accidentally skipped a whole section of your talk. Remember, you’ve got a home-court advantage, so to speak. The audience assumes you’re going to be great!

Deep Dive

shutterstock_275272916You’ve created something really amazing. Everyone wants to know more. The story of your success, how you got there, and what’s next draw curiosity-seekers and other interested parties like flies to flypaper.
 
So, what do you tell them? What’s your narrative? Do you have your usual spiel all dialed in? Is it something that rolls off your tongue without you having to think about it too much? Perhaps most important, though, is it strictly about your work or does it include you, the person?
 
Take a second to think about this.
 
The usual company narrative – dare I say, the “fallback” – is the one you might have generated for the VC community or for Wall Street, or it’s the one your marketing people crafted for selling your products and services. Or maybe it’s a combination of those two. If so, it’s probably great, but it’s not enough going forward. It’s actually not inspiring enough.
 
Audiences and your stakeholders crave a more earthy, gritty, revealing and more personal articulation of the journey – your success, how you got there, and what’s next. They want to feel it, feel a part of it, and they want to be inspired. By you. They want to be drawn in, engaged, connected. By you, the leader.
 
This matter is top of mind for me. I recently have had several requests from Marketing, Communications, and Brand Managers who have come to me requesting public speaking help for their CEO’s. Their concerns have ranged from the leader being “awesome but dry and uninspiring” to reports of being “brilliant but unable to connect.” Ouch!
 
Despite these less than stellar reviews, my experience in coaching executives and entrepreneurs tells me that it’s there, it’s in them. It’s usually pretty close to the surface, it just needs to be coaxed or allowed to come out. It may even need to be teased out by a trusted friend or advisor. But it’s right there.
 
So, what am I suggesting here? How do you go about creating a more personally inspiring narrative? Where do you begin?
 
Take a deep dive. Tap into yourself, your deepest self. Prepare to open up and share your vulnerability as well as your passion – for example, what makes you doubt yourself and what makes you tick, what scares you and what excites you.
 
Here are some questions to prompt your thinking:
 
What was my worst fear when I started this job/venture?
What was my worst moment?
Where did I most go right/wrong?
Where did I overshoot/undershoot?
What was my biggest surprise?
What do I love to do every day?
What do I love most about this project/company?
What have we forgotten/underemphasized?
How have the people I work with impacted me personally/professionally?
How has this venture exceeded my expectations?
What is my greatest wish for this project/company?
 
The answers to these questions will provide you with sound bites you can use to open with, weave into your existing presentation, or even formulate an entire talk. Think about using these sound bites as being transparent, but on steroids: being as open with your thoughts and feelings as you are with information.
 
There’s also a lot of chatter about the effectiveness of storytelling, both the wisdom and the science behind connecting with audiences by using stories. Everyone loves a good story, because they love to be entertained – even, or especially, during an informative or persuasive presentation. Your dreams, nightmares, successes and failures all make great story material; sharing them would make audiences feel very much a part of your journey.
 
There’s a lot to be gained – and nothing to be lost – by using your story, your narrative, and engaging your audiences and stakeholders on a deeper level. Make a note of the reactions and comments you get from people after you do. I’m willing to bet it will result in greater buy-in and engagement – from employees, investors, customers, and even vendors and partners.

Impromptu?

“It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” – Mark Twain

ImpromptuAlways a colorful character, Mark Twain got right at the heart of public speaking with wit and humor. He’s right, there is almost never such a thing as a good impromptu speech. Almost every speech you hear that you find enjoyable or compelling is the result of preparation.
 
But Mark Twain’s comment highlights more than the benefits of preparation, it highlights the fact that audiences are drawn in by a speech that feels impromptu. They prefer a speaker who is more conversational than mechanical, and yet there is a delicate balance being prepared and sounding scripted or mechanical.
 
However, true to nature, Mark Twain might have exaggerated a little bit. You don’t need to prepare for more than three weeks. The kind of preparation I’m suggesting can take as little time as a minute, but, of course, if you can give it longer, that’s even better!
 
Being prepared is just about the most audience-centric thing you can do. It confers a sense of importance and value on your listeners. It shows respect for their time and is arguably the least you can do in exchange for their attentiveness to you as a speaker. Plus, it ensures that what you deliver is actually received. Preparation shows—as does a lack of preparation.
 
All too often, though, people resist preparing for a talk. Clients have told me it feels egotistical or self-important to them, and they feel—or want to appear—more humble than that. In their minds, preparing a “speech”—whether that means welcoming remarks at an event, a thank-you for an award, or even an introduction for a speaker—feels bloated and unnecessary. Still, a speaker has a responsibility to deliver something of value to their audience, and the best way to do that is to be prepared.
 
When a speaker or presenter is prepared, the audience notices. The speaker is on point, and the message is clear and relevant to the audience. The prepared speaker doesn’t open with, “Well, I didn’t have time to prepare anything, so I hope you’ll bear with me.” Instead, the prepared speaker opens with an anecdote or an attention-grabbing factoid specific to that particular audience. Or the prepared speaker knows his or her goal for the talk and puts it out there right up front.
 
There are many who speak or present in front of groups often enough that they feel it’s okay—and in fact, for some it feels more comfortable—to just “wing it.” Wingers are gamblers. Sometimes they win, but other times they lose. Since the outcome can go either way, you have to ask yourself if you can afford a loss. Or can you afford even to risk it? If speech prep were short enough and simple enough, would you devote just a few seconds to being prepared? I think anyone would.
 
So here are a few simple preparation tips that not only reduce your risk but actually connect you more quickly and directly with your audience:
 
Develop mini stump speeches. If you know there are projects or issues that you typically need to address, take a few minutes and develop some ready message points. These should be short, crisp statements that convey value or importance, focusing on the “why” and not the “what.” If you have these in your back pocket and you’re called on to speak, you’re halfway there. Add a story or anecdote that illustrates your message, and you’re good to go.
 
Be selective with information. Whatever you do, don’t fall into the trap of thinking if you just do a lot of research, present a lot of data, or share a lot of detail, that you’re prepared to address an audience. Preparation requires you to think about the significance of your talk—the “why,” not the “what”—and to be prepared to convey that before you get to any supporting information.
 
Disrupt Chronology. If you have only a few seconds or minutes to prepare, think about what your summary or conclusion would be for your talk—and then deliver that as your whole talk. If you feel the need to elaborate a bit more, at the very least use your summary as your opening. Disrupting chronology means serving dessert – or the audience’s takeaway – first, while their attention spans and ability to retain are highest.
 
[Excerpted in part from Jock Talk: 5 Communication Principles for Leaders as Exemplified by Legends of the Sports World, www.jocktalkbook.com]

Pointers!

PointersI know better, but I’m as guilty as the next person when it comes to placing too much emphasis on content – the actual words and phrases – when preparing for a presentation. Communicating, as you might know anecdotally, is as much about your body language and facial expressions as it is about your words.
 
Here are some interesting facts about the importance of non-verbal communication:

  • Human communication is 20% verbal and 80% non-verbal. This means if you’re saying something but your body language says the opposite, you’re not likely to get your message across.
     
  • According to researchers, our bodies express emotion better than our faces.
     
  • The average person actually only speaks words for a total of 10-11 minutes a day. And the average sentence takes 2.5 seconds to say.
     
  • We make and recognize about 25,000 facial expressions a day.
     
  • Pointing is one of the most offensive gestures pretty much around the globe.
     
  • Hand-steepling is the most high-confidence hand gesture. This involves touching the spread fingertips of both hands in a gesture similar to praying hands, but the fingers are not interlocked and the palms may not be touching.
     
  • Power poses – e.g. standing up, sitting with arms spread out on the on the chairs around you, “Wonder Woman” stance (feet planted; hands on hips) – make speakers feel more powerful as they actually change testosterone and cortisol levels in the body.

Be body-aware and body-smart. Think about your face, your body and your posture. Identify what your “job” is – your communications task for each public speaking occasion – and practice what that might look and sound like as part of your preparation. In other words, what does persuasion look and sound like; what does reassurance look and sound like; what does motivation look and sound like? Practice with your words, but also make sure it looks and sounds like you!